The Stupid Couple AKA Puppyshipping
by Link Rolongo
Summary: Kaiba and Jou need to be tied up and beaten to get together. At least that's what Yami and Yugi think.


Puppyshipping or The Couple that Needs to Tied up and Beaten to get Together.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's note: I used the Japanese names for all but Mako, cause I don't know Mako's Japanese name. Also Review, I ask that if you do that you point out any missing words, wrongly spelt words, screwed up sentences (Ie they don't make sense) and repeated words and I shall fix them. If you want to include this in your review that is, other than that, Enjoy the Fic.

There were some days Yami and Yugi wanted to tie up Kaiba Seto and Jounouchi Katsuya and beat them over the head with a very large stick. Not because they couldn't stand their fighting but because they were one of those stupid couples. This fact was not just speculation on Yugi or Yami's part. Jou (short for Jounouchi) had confessed to his best friend a long time ago that he was in love with his blue-eyed nemesis. And the blue-eyed nemesis he confessed to Yami during a friendly private duel between the two. But both thought the other was straight and hated him because of their past.

So the two decided that they should get Kaiba and Jou together. Not only to let them be as happy as they were also so that they, or specifically Jou, could join in the couple only stuff that the group did more and more of. This fact was a result of many botched attempts to get the two together. The First botched attempt was card game convention that was held by Kaiba corp. last year that they were all invited to; more specifically the formal dance that was part of the convention. Yami had thought that it would be easy to get them together there but Kaiba had to be together with his date, a daughter of an associate company CEO. So Jou spent the evening dancing with Otogi Ryuji, because the pair, aside from Anzu, were the best dancers in the group. That was until Otogi confessed that the other reason they were dancing together was to make Jou's other best friend, Honda, jealous in order to woo him some how. Jou replied that he didn't have to woo him some how because his brunet pencil shaped hair friend was all ready head over heals. Otogi immediately left the blond and cornered said brunet into a wall and kissed him soundly. The two spent the rest of the evening against said wall. The whole dancing thing did not go unnoticed by Kaiba it had only served to make him more jealous until he saw Otogi and Honda making out. By the time he worked up the courage to talk to the blond and ditch his date the blond had gone home.

The second botched attempt occurred when the group, which now included Otogi by default, went to the beach during the summer. That attempt had been collaboration between Yami, Yugi and Mokuba. Mokuba at first hadn't known about the blond's love but he had known about his brother's love and he also knew that the gang was going to the beach. Begged his brother to go to the beach with him using the excuse that they need to spend quality time out side of Kaiba Manor. His motive of course was to get the two together. The Kaiba brothers arrived at the beach, the gang spotted them immediately and motioned for the two to come join them. Surprisingly or not the elder Kaiba agreed. Surprisingly to Kaiba Jou made space for the Kaibas beside him. Kaiba muttered something about the blond mutt finally acknowledging his master as he put down his things. Thankfully Kaiba never saw the blush as blond retorted that he was not a dog, however he said nothing about the master part. Surprisingly the comment did not start a fight between the two would be lovers. As Kaiba sat down, Jou decided that enough was enough and that if least at some time in the future when he would confess his feelings to the brunet he would need to be on good terms with the other. So right they're on the beach with both in bathing suits he proposed a truce and asked to start over as friends. Kaiba agreed and the two shook on it with the others acting as witnesses. After that they sat on their respective blankets and talked to get know one another. By lunchtime the two were acting like old friends laughing about the stupidest things. After lunch Kaiba felt like swimming and asked his 'new' friend to join him. He agreed they took off their perspective tee shirts and sandals and ran to the water laughing all the way. After swimming a bit they saw that the tides near the beach had grown to a size suitable for body surfing. Kaiba had never gone body surfing before. Jou said that he would teach him how so of they went. Unfortunately the wave that Jou had decided to demonstrate was much too large and it picked him up and threw the blond hard against the beach breaking his left arm and knocking him unconscious in the process. Luckily for him the lifeguard was walking by and was able to revive him within seconds. After the ambulance was called and the blond taken to near by hospital Anzu asked what the lifeguard's name was so they could thank him properly. He said his name was Mako Tsunami, he was just doing his job and if she would go out for dinner with him. She agreed. Needless to say another new couple had joined the group. Because it was not the one Yugi had been hoping for he had the strong urge to burry his head in the sand and scream.

One would think that because that because the blond and the brunet were now friends that they would be together in no time this was not the case. First there was the back to school party. Kaiba had been unable to attend that because of business. Then there was the brunet's birthday on October 25th. Jou and Kaiba originally had plans to go over to Jou's house where he would cook a wonderful supper for just the two of them and where one of the he's would surely confess to the other. It was wonderfully planned out. But on the morning of the 25th Kaiba called Jou with almost no voice and stated he had a terrible cold and would be in bed for several days according to his doctor. He stated before hanging up that Jou had better not come anyways because it was that bad of a cold. As for Halloween the gang spent it at Kaiba's house watching scary movies on Kaiba's big screen with Yugi with futile hope that Kaiba would comfort Jou if the movies got too scary. Futile because Kaiba and Jounouchi both turned out be huge scary movie fans and spent the whole time discussing the movies they were watching.

Then came the third botched attempt AKA the annual Christmas party. This

Time every one helped carefully plan. The only things they hadn't planned on were the mistletoe that Yugi's grandfather put up or that Ryou and Bakura were not a couple yet and would be arriving at separate times. Jou had arrived with Ryou because they worked at same department store came into Yugi's living room together and were bombarded by the others who were there which at the time included Bakura, Yugi, Yami, Honda, Otogi and Mako and Anzu to kiss they looked up saw the mistletoe and complied. Kaiba chose that time come. Seeing the lip lock he decided that he would change his mind and not ditch the corporations Christmas party and merely dropped of the Christmas presents and left before the blond had noticed. He had drove off before Yami could run after him and explain about the mistletoe. After Ryou and Jou's kiss Bakura had decided that he would show Ryou what a real kiss looked like pushed the smaller white haired boy into a corner and did just that. Another couple had joined the group and because it was not the couple he had been hoping for Yugi felt like strangling his grandfather with the tree garland for putting up the mistletoe in the first place. The brunet's present to the blond was no indication to his feelings either because it was just some CDs he liked. Nor was the blond's present to the brunet, which was delivered to the brunet a day later. Originally it had been. It was a statue of the boys dragon's the red eyes black dragon and the blue eyes white dragons facing each other and their tails were linked but in the transport from the blond's house the brunet's the tails were broken at their link. Kaiba accepted the gift any ways because it was from the blond and took it as a sign of their friendship. He placed the statue on the bookshelf closet to his desk in his home office.

New years didn't even enter into helping the situation. Jou caught a cold and Kaiba had to go South Korea for business. For Jou's 17th birthday on January 25th Kaiba was determined to confess to the blond. Yugi was quite determined to have perfect situation for his best friend to confess to the brunet, unfortunately there arose a tragic event that none of them could see, the passing of Jou's paternal grandfather in New York City. The blond spent his birthday going to New York and his birthday weekend visiting his relatives at the funeral on the plus side he did get to see his sister and grandmother who he loved dearly. The day before he and his father left for home, his mother and father put aside their differences and took him and his sister out to Times Square as a family and it was one of the better birthdays that the blond had ever had.

Yami decided that enough was enough and that the two were going to get together on Valentines Day or so help him he would kill something or at least send it to the shadow realm. Yami decided to switch gears instead of creating a situation for the two to go to instead he decided to make them feel left out, and decided that the couples should have a group date, before going on their own perspective dates. So that is exactly what they did. Jou said he didn't mind since he had a report to write for the next day, and besides Kaiba was away for business. Plus there was the conversation that he had with the brunet before he left that if he was going to confess his feelings for the one he loved did not need a superficial greeting card industry created day such as Valentines Day to do it. So he did not expect any thing he did hope after the hugging blue eyes and red eyes dragon plushies he received from an "a secret admirer" on his birthday. Even though he was pretty sure that the dragons were from the brunet. Although they could have been from Yugi so that he would think that Kaiba sent them. Which is why he never questioned the brunet. Valentines came and went and Jou and Kaiba were still not a couple and it was driving Mokuba and the group, including Mako or as Jou referred to him as The Freaky Fish Guy, insane.

So on a regular day Feburary 23rd the gang and Mokuba concocted the ultimate plan. First Mokuba would make plans with the elder Kaiba for lunch and the gang with Jou at the nearest buffet place. This went according to plan. Then they would coincidently run into each other while entering and would agree to sit together. This went according to plan. Then while the two were in the food line they would drug the drinks with a knock out drug. This went according to plan. Then the two would pass out and they would leave the restaurant some how unnoticed. This also went according to plan. The group then would then transport them to a middle class hotel like a best western or comfort inn. They would then tie them together and when they awoke would beat them with very large sticks until they confessed to each other. This went according plan except for the tying them together and beating them. Instead they opted to bind them with rope and then tying them onto the separate beds and would not let them leave until they confessed to each other. They would know because they left a hands free walkie talkie and a baby monitor on the bed side table and web cam set up on the laptop put up on the T.V. Kaiba awoke first and demanded what was going this woke up Jounouchi who also demanded what was going on. Seeing that the two were awake. Mokuba's disembodied head spoke on the walkie-talkie and explained that they weren't leaving until they worked things out. Which confused the two seeing that they had become friends last summer. They both secretly knew what working out actually meant but they dared not say because neither wanted to ruin the friendship because each thought the other was straight despite every thing that happened in the year.

12 hours later. They had further their relationship as friends, both deciding it would be too dangerous to fall asleep. They talked about all different subjects each carefully avoiding the love subject knowing that he would more than likely crack. Then Kaiba made a bizarre comment of that this is not kind of hotel he had wanted be alone with the blond in. Jou blushed immediately demanded what he had meant by that. Kaiba noticed the blush and demanded why he was blushing. The Blond said nothing. The two were silent for about an hour after than that. Jounouchi decided that he had been ready for the heartbreak and asked Kaiba what kind of girl he liked. Kaiba replied that they had to like Mokuba and understand that he was a CEO and they had to able stand up to him and they had to have blond hair, but most importantly they had to be "you". Jou simply gasped and asked if that meant what he thought it meant. Kaiba replied it did and he would understand that blond was straight and wanted to end the friendship because he was disgusted but he was in love with the other boy and had been for quite a while. Jou was speechless. After what the brunet said sunk in he started to giggle that giggle turned into a joyous mirth filled laugh. Kaiba demanded what was so funny. Jou replied that he made this a lot easier because he loved Kaiba back but never said any thing because he thought Kaiba was straight and nor did he want to ruin the friendship. To which Kaiba replied that if he could he would kiss him. Before Jou could reply he felt the same the victorious sounds of the others could be heard on the walkie-talkie. Minutes later the gang came and untied them. The first thing the new couple did when they were fully untied was punch Yami and Yugi for doing something like that to them. Then Kaiba or "Seto" as the blond was now allowed to call him and Katsuya in return kissed. The first name permission whispered into each other's ear as they kissed. After they kissed Kaiba announced that he and Katsuya were going to sleep and then going on a date and that if he saw any of the group he would murder them Mokuba included. The two left the room with Seto princess carrying Katsuya exclaiming how light and small and cute his Puppy (Katsuya) was with said puppy blushing all the while.

The End


End file.
